Andrew John Rowe was born March 15th 1953, in Texas. His family moved around frequently, including to Arlington, a town in Ohio which Andy loved. From a young age he developed a love of comic books that would endure for the rest of his life. Andy also developed a lifelong love of reading in general, especially history and military aircraft.
Coming of age in the late 1960s and early 70s, Andy chose to keep the fact that he was transgender and bisexual a secret for his own safety. Andy described knowing he was trans from the age of five, when he saw Bugs Bunny in drag while at a drive-in with his family. “I realized that was what I am.” Some of his experiences were more typical for a man who drove a VW Thing and viewed himself as a hippie. A buddy once offered him “loaded brownies” one day at work and Andy, unsuspectingly, ate one. Telling us the story later for a laugh, he said, “I just thought they were loaded with chocolatey goodness.” He attended Coe College and another university, earning a degree in Liberal Arts. He chose to marry and fathered two children, Elizabeth (Beth) and John Daniel (JD).
In the mid 1980s, Andy started his business, Make It Magic, making complex and lighted sets designed for theaters, restaurants, special occasions, and event venues. A lifelong artist in various mediums, Andy was a highly skilled sculptor but also enjoyed drawing, painting, and making stained glass. Those of us close to Andy will always remember him by the art on our shelves or hanging on our walls. And those of us very close to him know the details of how several paintings of his came to be exhibited at the University of Kansas student union gallery under the name Alonzo Kosciusko.
Later, he was hired by Padgett-Thompson Training and Seminars as an instructor. He traveled the country extensively for more than a decade, teaching the employees of client companies from coast to coast. Respected and constantly sought after for his excellent teaching abilities, the anonymity of distant cities and daytime lectures provided Andy brief opportunities to live as his true person, a trans woman named Diana Richards. At that time, Diana never came back from work trips.
When first meeting guests in his home, Andy would exuberantly showcase his comic book collection, which took up most of the shelf space in a spare bedroom. A consummate fanboy of classic comics, his black Pontiac Bonneville bore the vanity plate “BATMBLE.” He was involved with the Johnson County Bike Club (JCBC) and an early proponent of bike helmets. Andy was known for cycling around town to work and regular errands, wearing a rubber band around his pant leg to keep the cuff from getting caught in the gears. He enjoyed Franzia boxed wine, pastries from Pumpernick’s deli, seldom spoke a harsh word about anyone, and avidly listened to NPR. He preferred classical music almost exclusively and had opinions like, “the violins always get the glory, but the violas have a richer sound.” Andy was usually quiet and reserved, but possessed of a dry wit and brilliant sense of comedic timing. Upon finally finding a missing tool he’d been searching for in order to make a specific repair, he said, “sometimes, having the right tool for the job is better than sex.” No one would deny that Andy was a character.
It was all nearly cut short in 1999 when Andy was diagnosed with stage IV non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. After failing several rounds of chemo over nearly a year, the worst was feared. Expecting a rapid decline, the doctors gave him a matter of months to live, but an experimental bone marrow (stem cell) transplant saved his life and his cancer went into remission. Weakened by the chemo treatments, Andy began a slow recovery toward maintaining a regular work schedule and independent living. During this time he worked at the family business, Pete ‘n’ Repeat, so he could take naps whenever he needed them. A few years later, he and his wife divorced and Andy retired. He began traveling cross country in his minivan, visiting small diners and roadside attractions, sticking to the state highways in a kind of beatnik road trip. Andy extensively toured every air museum and major airshow in the continental United States, including the Mid-America Air Museum in Liberal, Kansas, and the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in DC. He loved every minute of his trips and regaled us with stories of his travels when he returned, like the time he became lost in rural Louisiana and his car got stuck in the mud in a bayou.
It was around this time that his association with Brenda Ramsey began, first as a romantic partner, then, after their romance ended, as a close friend. They bought a house together in the foothills of North Carolina; later they moved to rural south central Kansas. After that they moved into her house in Overland Park, and finally, he moved alone into a townhouse in the same city. Brenda was a frequent visitor and constant feature in his life. During this time, Andy came out first as bisexual, and then as a trans woman, and was accepted by his family. At the age of 66, in January of 2020, Andy transitioned to Diana with the intention of permanently remaining so.
When presenting as Andy, he had previously used he/him pronouns, and after the transition, used she/her pronouns. Rather than being offended by people using his former name, Andy took an atypical position. “I’m not sad that I was Andy, and Andy isn’t dead to me. Andy had children. Andy was a father. It’s just that I’m Diana, now.” She also said, “I never thought I would live to see this day, that I could come out and be accepted by my family, and live in a world where trans people are accepted.”
Diana saw herself as a Trans Elder and took the role seriously, giving public talks about the trans experience mainly to cisgender and heterosexual people, and answering the questions they had. Also a mentor to her community, she gave makeup tips and advice on dressing to inexperienced trans women. When Diana (nervously) got a partime job at Johnson County Community College as a writing tutor, she was surprised to be accepted by coworkers and supervisors. Diana had a constant stream of students and regulars seeking her advice and editorial guidance, and her supervisors valued her highly. In her time as Diana, she was more full of life, love, and happiness, than those of us close to her had ever seen before. She hugged her grandchildren more, got socially involved more, and wrote more letters to the editor (much to the chagrin of the literate conservatives within the Kansas City Star distribution area). Diana even won honorable mention in a countywide short story contest at the public library.
Unfortunately, in late 2023, Diana’s cancer returned. Being twenty five years older, and a cancer survivor already, her health was not as robust as at the time of her first diagnosis, and treatment options were more limited. She continued presenting as Diana until she was too weak to dress herself. At that time she reverted back to Andy. Incredibly to many of us, she was not bitter about this. “I got to live as my real self for years. I’ve lived a full life.”
On the afternoon of November 19th, Andy died in hospice under the care of Brenda and many excellent nurses. He was not in pain, and he died easy in his sleep surrounded by family and friends who loved him. Our family especially would like to thank Brenda for her devoted care on that day, and every day.
Andy is preceded in death by his parents, Dean Rowe and Johannah Rowe, leaves behind his older siblings Daniel and Mindy, daughter Elizabeth (Brian), son JD (Taylor), and
grandchildren Aiden, Zoe, and Sylvia, many friends, acquaintances, customers of the family business, and the epitaph that, even in the winter of our lives we may change ourselves, even greatly, live truly, and love our lives more fully than ever before.
In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to trans affirming and supporting organizations, and the Johnson County Community College Basic Needs Center which supports the needs of unhoused students attending JCCC.
Fair winds and following seas, my friend.
